MISS Remembrance Walk Key Note Speech May 2014
Last night I made myself a cup of tea after I put my boys to bed. As I waited for my tea to steep I just stood there for a few minutes, thinking, and enjoying a moment of peace and quiet with the movie Return to Zero on in the back ground.
I’ve been privileged to see the movie three times before it premiered worldwide last night so I can almost say I know it by heart.
In a way we all know it by heart. The movie has done us all an amazing favor by showing the world that babies do sadly die and when they do they leave a story for us to tell on their behalf. We have been granted the rare privilege to be the story teller of our baby’s life.
Unfortunately it doesn’t always feel like a privilege. This beautiful honor comes at a soul crushing cost we’ve all lamented to pay.
Yet we all woke up this morning and came here because we want to have a voice. We want to speak for our precious little ones who cannot speak from themselves. We want to make clear that their lives matter, their existence changed everything for us, and their death not only broke our heart but robbed the world of someone truly special.
We want our babies counted. We want them remembered.
There is no manual however to guide us in telling our babies’ story. People ask me all the time for ideas about ways to memorialize their babies and they are always curious to know want I’ve done.
In 2011 my sister and I started Teamotions- a revolutionary tea company with an out-of-the-box approach to emotional care and healing.
Grieving and struggling to cope after the deaths of my sweet girls, I found solace in tea. You would rarely see me without a cup of tea in my hand. One day my sister was visiting me and said, “I wish there was something I could put in your tea to make you feel better.” Knowing nothing like that existed, we set out to create it.
Our line of teas was created to support the full spectrum of emotions, offering comfort and healing to the hurting.
We use scientifically supported adaptogen herbs, tea, and botanicals in each blend to help boost immunity, improve the body's response to stress, and restore well-being in every way.
Teamotions was originally intended to be a line of grief-care teas formulated around the emotions often experienced when grieving. However, we quickly realized those emotions are not limited to grieving. Understanding that everyone experiences these emotions we put our whole hearts into developing a line of teas that would bring comfort to all.
Teamotions is so much more than a tea company. It is the legacy of my sweet baby daughters and the platform of which I tell their story. It is also the tangible representation of my passion to help others heal and my commitment to walk along side those who are hurting.
But the truth is you don’t need to have tea company, start a foundation, or even make a movie to tell your baby’s story in a remarkable way. The best way to honor your child is by the healing of your own heart.
Our love for our child is not measured by our misery. Sadness does not preserve their memory. Our babies did not exist to place a sentence of suffering upon us. They came as a precious gifts. Beautiful examples of life and unconditional love.
I chose healing because I know nothing else I do could ever honor my sweet babies more.
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. On the contrary. Healing means remembering-remembering that love this deep may cause unfathomable pain but it also makes a depth of joy possible that non-sufferers could never know.
Our lives are richer for knowing true loss. Compassion overflows in us. Gratitude abounds. Superficiality melts away. And what our babies leave behind is not a permanent prison of pain but the opportunity to embrace fully the beauty and meaning of their lives.
We must chose healing every day. We must fight for it. We must embrace it. We must find our strength and find our voice –we must never be ashamed to heal.
Why? Because it honors our beautiful babies.
We have a precious responsibility that starts with our own hearts. Give yourself permission to heal. Grant yourself the voice your baby deserves
We are the tellers of their story and only our voice will do.
If you are struggling today believing that healing is possible for you please seek me out. I would love to encourage you.
Healing is possible after the death of a child. Dig Deep. Find your voice. Tell your story.
And never ever lose hope.