Sunday, July 22, 2012

The Big Move

Some of you know already, but for those of you out of the loop-we've moved!

Swansboro, North Carolina is our new home. And this is our house.

We drove here. In two cars. Kids and dog in tow for 3000 miles.  And it wasn't so bad.  The drive went much better than I thought it would.

As a military family this should be a regular occurrence, but for us it hasn't been.  We've been so blessed to live in San Diego for the last 8 years.  My husband deployed during that time, but the kids and I got to stay. So this is really my first big move.  And I won't lie-I am having a hard time.

I miss home.

I am from Southern California originally and my family is still there. I took full advantage of seeing them regularly and never let the three hour drive prevent a visit.  We got to be together for holidays, new babies, summer pool parties, and anytime my boys asked to see Nana and Grandad. 

I miss my family.

I miss my business.  Teamotions was really gaining momentum in SoCal and I didn't like leaving it but I plan to get it going out here as well. Once I get settled (all the boxes unpacked and everything in its place) I will get cracking full steam ahead. Crystal is manning the West Coast while I open up the East Coast-I am sure good things will follow.

I also miss my friends. And I miss Dustin's friends. And the mountains and ocean right next to each other.  The weather. The hiking trails. And the organic food!  Turns out organic is still a bit of a foreign concept here. And Cups LaJolla Brulee J organic cupcake with custard in the middle and caramelized sugar on top-BEST EVER. I wonder if I can mail order a dozen? They also make the best mocha I've ever had with homemade chocolate sauce and organic whole milk. I will miss those most at Christmas time.

I miss Aubrey and Ellie.  I realize I carry them in my heart where ever I go but not being able to visit their gravestone and leave flowers for them makes me sad.  I feel like I left them behind.  They were conceived in San Diego, born in San Diego, and died there as well. And our house was the house they were supposed to come home from the hospital to.  There is a room in that house I painted yellow just for them and set up two cribs in.  That house knows about them.  It was intended for them. This house doesn't know anything about them. And that makes me sad.  I am working on ways to incorporate their memories into our home but in the meantime it feels like something very important is missing.

Mostly I miss familiarity.  It has always been hard for me to transition.  I don't like that lost feeling of a strange new place.  I mean, it isn't like North Carolina is Mars or something, and I can already sense that there is lots to love about this place-but until I get a little more established I have this constant feeling of anxiety (time for Teamotions Have Hope tea!) and loneliness.

It doesn't feel like home-yet.

This may sound a little out there but my biggest source of anxiety right now is that my landlord will not let me paint.  White walls are not the worst things except that our walls look like someone gave a two year old a paint brush and said go crazy.  There are about three different shades of white on these walls blotched about under the disguise of "touch up" paint.  And it is making me crazy!  I'd appreciate any ideas with a solution to this renter's dilemma.

I really want to make this house a home.

Lastly-if you follow my blog and live in my area and have always been curious about Teamotions Teas I'd be happy to come and do a tasting for you.  I am working hard to get a buzz going out here and I'd appreciate the help.  And it never hurts just to taste right! I also speak/teach for MOPS groups and other moms groups and grief groups.  I jump at any opportunity to comfort others with the same comfort I have received through Christ and tea.  If you'd like to taste my emotional well-being teas or have a speaking opportunity for me please Leave a comment or email me at 


  1. I have never tried this before, but plan to, as our landlords won't let us paint either. Luckily, it isn't too splotchy in our place--that would drive me bananas.
    You can take fabric and soak in liquid cornstarch. It will stick to the walls, and when it's time to move (or change the color), it peels off and the residue washes off with soap and water. Might be worth a try.
    Moving is so difficult when you leave a grave behind. God has been so good though. There is a dove's nest right over my Sam's grave, and everywhere we've moved, doves have taken up residence nearby. Mourning doves. Beautiful song. I sit down outside, and just listen, and it feels like visiting him. Keep your eyes and ears open--maybe the Lord will provide a little connection like that for you as you're away from your girls' grave.

  2. Come visit, come visit, come visit!!!!!!!

    Maybe we can host a tea tasting at my gym! A bunch of them bought your Semper Fi Fund tea and I'm sure they would love it.

    Or we could do it at my house and just invite everyone from my gym. Or tea at the gym, wine at my house...

    So many possibilities!

    Come visit! :)


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