Sunday, April 17, 2011

Down Deep

I had the privilege of spending my weekend at a women's retreat put on by my amazing church at the Calvery Chappel Conference Center in Murrieta Hot Springs. I cannot even explain to you how much I had been looking forward to this weekend and it did not disappoint. In all honesty, it was probably the best retreat I have ever been to (and I have been to a lot). I was encouraged, equipped, uplifted, changed, challenged, and touched. But more importantly that all of that (because I have been to many retreats that moved me and stirred the emotions of my faith) I was redirected. This weekend was a turning point in my faith and my life. I didn't so much feel the shift as I recognized it with my knower, that part of me that doesn't ebb and flow with the changing tide of my emotions but the part of me that I can rely on to identify truth when I see it. God met me at the steps of my soul and reset my course, pointing me away from everything else and back toward Him. Our speaker, Jill Briscoe, was amazing. She spoke on what she called life lessons. She shared with us what God has taught her in all her years in the ministry and as a missionary and the lessons were profound. They were too many to mention now, but they will be the topics of my blog posts for the next few months (yes I said months) so stay tuned if you want to hear stories and scripture that will change your life. In the meantime, you can check out Jill Briscoe's website and be blessed. She has written a ton of books and also has articles, audio lessons, pod casts, and all kinds of life changing things on there. I will be doing a give-away of one of her books (which book is a surprise) in the coming weeks so stay tuned. I KNOW it will bless your life beyond measure. I also had the privilege of meeting Sarah Macintosh who sings like an angel. She led us in worship right into the throne room of God. She has a new album out and another in the works. I will also be doing a give-away of her CD soon because, well, it is just that good. Again, check back or you might miss it! Until then, I want to leave you with a little taste of what I experienced this weekend. It is a poem and a prayer from a book written by Jill Briscoe called Faith Dancing. I have become enamored with this whole concept of dancing faith. As a baby-lost momma I have grown accustomed to a weary faith. A faith that struggles and strives and collapses in exhaustion from all the hurting, trying, and coping. The healing moments exist, but they are fleeting. The heaviness always seems to creep back onto my shoulders. I try to fight it off, but at the end of the day I climb in bed and I still HURT. It feels like the last three years have been nothing but pain management and I'm spent. I can barely walk let alone dance... But I'd like my faith to dance again. I'd like to enjoy the rest that only comes when Jesus is near. I'd like to trade my tired faith for a renewed faith, for a faith that doesn't just trudge along but dances. There is work to be done for me. Before my faith can dance I must let God in, way in, down deep. I think this concept is extra difficult for someone like me who has experienced such pain. I know how deep pain can go and those crevices and pits are not easy to reach. Of course I know God can get to those places, but I am not sure I want Him to. I don't now how much it is going to hurt to clean out what are still tender, open wounds. But as Jill Briscoe said, "There is absolutely no way I can do the work I've committed to do on the outside of me unless God is doing the work He committed to do on the inside of me." But He can't get in unless I let Him. "I simply need to give him permission to be who He is, as deep down as He wishes to go." Only then will my faith learn to dance.

Down In My Life

by Jill Briscoe

Down in my life where it’s restless and wild,

Down in my life where the adult’s a child,

Down in my fears and worries and care

Suddenly Jesus is there.

Touching my heart strings He sings me a song,

Quiets the child till she’s steady and strong,

Banishes worries – just smiles them away

Turning my night into day.

Down in my life where the troubles run deep,

Down in my life when I can’t get to sleep,

Down in my life when life isn’t fair,

Suddenly Jesus is there.

Rebuking the turmoil; He sends it away,

Gives peace in the panic and helps me to pray,

Turns sorrow to praising, surprises my pain,

And bids me to face life again.

Down in my life where I’m lonely and old,

Deep in my heart when my spirit is cold,

Down in my life when I don’t know what’s best

Suddenly Jesus gives rest.

“Gift doesn’t age” He remarks with a smile,

“I’ll set your soul dancing and make life worthwhile,

I’ll guide you in righteousness: wisdom’s delight:

And nerve your faint heart for the fight.”

He stands in my shadows and the light on His face

Reflects all His love and His mercy and grace

Right down in my life where nobody goes:

Deep in “this” heart the Lord knows.

Down in my life where it’s restless and wild,

Down in my life where the adult’s a child,

Down in my soul I’m acutely aware

Suddenly Jesus is there!"


  1. It was a great weekend! Jill Briscoe really touched me too. It was good to see you Kasey, wish I had spent a little time with you. The weekend was powerful. I have downloaded a bunch of her podcasts. It's time to move forward. For me when she said "Bury the dream" it was huge to me. So many things aren't the way I believe they should be, but who am I to say how things should be, they are what they are and Christ knows better than I do. "Bury the dream" can be very freeing. Anyway, we will both be working toward revival in our lives :) And I want to get over and see those two boys of yours that I love so much :)


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