I visited my girls at the cemetery.
We buried them near my childhood home because being military we don't always know where we will be. My parents will never move so it only made sense to lay them to rest somewhere I would always be able to return to.
My babies are buried where I grew up. There is sad irony in that.
I took them each a bouquet of roses and alstroemerias (different colors of course) and sat with them awhile.
It was a beautiful day. Warm sun, cool breeze. Just lovely. I knelt in the grass and brushed off their headstone. I wanted it to look nice of course. My sister was with me. We sat and talked about Aubrey and Ellie, life, God, faith and the future. Me on one side, her on the other, and a little tiny headstone in the middle. We felt sad. It has been hard on all of us losing Aubrey and Ellie.
It still feels strange going there. It stirs up the memories of the saddest time of my life. I can't imagine ever feeling comfortable at the graveside of my babies.
But I am glad I went.
I wait anxiously to see them again. Until then I have my spot in the grass...