Saturday, July 11, 2009

Funeral

One year ago today I attended my daughters' funeral. I remember staring at their little tiny casket uncertain if what was happening was even real. We put them both in the same casket so that they could be together. I could not bare the thought of them being all alone. They shared a womb, it seemed only right they should share a casket too. I felt that day as though I wanted to die. I wanted to ask to be buried with them right then. But instead I just sat there, staring. My heart was broken. It was worse than a nightmare. I would never wake up to find it all a horrible bad dream. It was real. Absolutely and unbelievably real.

A slight breeze blew in mist from the ocean and for a moment the clouds covered the sun. The sunshine disappeared and left the sky dreary and gray. Where is my girls' sunshine? I asked God. And the clouds moved. The sun beamed down on us and the sky brightened. It turned out to be a beautiful day. One of the saddest beautiful days of my life.

I found this song by Watermark. I love it. I wish I could have read it at my girls' funeral but I didn't find it until my girls' birthday just a few weeks ago so it seems fitting to post it now. It says everything I want to say to them today. Everything. It is called Glory Baby.

We miss you everyday
We miss you in every way
But we know there is a day
When we will hold you, we will hold you
And you'll kiss our tears away
When we are home to stay
We can't wait for the day
When we will see you, we will see you
But babies let sweet Jesus hold you
Until Mom and Dad can hold you
You'll just have heaven before we do
You'll just have heaven before we do

Sweet little babies, it's hard to understand it
Cause we are hurting, we are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we are stronger people
Through the growing and in knowing
All things work together for our good
And God works his purposes
Just like He said He would
Just like He said He would

I can't imagine Heaven's lullabies
And what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing
Heaven is your home
And it's all you'll ever know
All you'll ever know

2 comments:

  1. I love this song too! My mother had two miscarriages and sometimes I think about the siblings that I will only meet in heaven. There will be so many beautiful babies there...God is the keeper of our dreams.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have never heard that song but i love it. I am still praying for you Rach and I have to tell you it did my heart good to see you in June. I hope you are doing well. Love you.

    ReplyDelete

 
Design by Small Bird Studios | All Rights Reserved