I am sitting here crying. My computer is on my lap, a cup of tea to my side, and tears streaming down my face. I get like this sometimes. I just can't hold back the tears. When I have days like this I feel like I am not just crying for my girls, but about everything sad in my life. Every disappointment, every loss, every regret, every mistake...it all seems to be behind my tears.
Life is hard right now, for many reasons. My life is very different than I ever imagined it would be. I think it has been hard for me to come to terms with it all. The realities of life can be so harsh. It is disillusioning. It is hard to make sense of it all.
The only thing I know to do is hold on to what I know, to the unchangeable things, the things that remain right when everything else is wrong, to Jesus. All these tears fall at His feet. I am not alone in this journey. I walk wearily, but I walk with Him. And someday I trust I will get to the other side of all of this. Only He will lead me there.